As I was driving to work early this morning, something in me became all the more strong, after I passed over a rat on the road, helpless on my seat, so was the rat, and here i was, unable to save the rhodent, equally holding an inviolable right to live, just like me, but then i think so does every one around me, my blue fish too... So, is the choice always mine, whom to save? Selfish at times, indecisive at other moments...
Let me paint my picture to make this clear, imagine a pretty looking, energetic blue lil fish, making its way, all happily and cheerfully one winter morning, exploring this colourful world, my promise to her to show all that i can in this world of wonders, not as others see it, but from the eyes of those who see beauty in almost everything around... But pretty isn't what you always see on the surface... just to find its right fin in a couple of minutes all gone, smashed... Injured, till now that this white thing on it looks like an ointment healing her ...
Remember the kilometers it swam, in turbulent times it was my companion, an evidence to my happy times, me feeling safe with her every now and then...
But here's my question, In my greed of accomplishements, what i have really done for her? What have i done to her?
Of course, my blue fish was being stared at, this very morning, of how ugly it was looking, and then me, (yes i do take care of her,) but i m not always at fault, either!
I m not careless or negligent, and i think she is capable enough to brave any storm, but yes, if all in the world are making 'us' feel guilty, from these unknown half joking and half commenting eyes, they have done a job well enough to make us feel this way, but they arent the only ones, as my own conscience was very actively playing a part, this wasnt the first time, I have lived this before,
for i m the one who's with her, my companion for miles... Her every bruise here and a scratch there pains me to the core, how could I? How could they??
But to who all do i openly show my guilt, or do i really need to even?
The Doctor's mood, all irritated to serve my blue fish, words untold, but feeling spoken so loud , that they know very well where to hurt...
There was a dream seen in this foetus of mine, of nurturing this harmless lil thing to a shark, and i objected and took it to a more humbler level(at least in my thoughts) a whale, ... but right now, i want her to get all better, just like before, ... i like her the way she was, is, and i want her all glistening n shining, racing in the winter sun...
Hope she gets well soon... '
My blue fish will be swimming soon...
